One day I was born through the eyes of god and all of angels in heaven, I lived my life happily as a child in elementary school and I went to church every single Sunday and I enjoyed every second of what my priest had to say. I was also sent to church school by my grandparents.

My parents thought it would be a better idea for me to be sent to a public school since I was not interested in going to a christian middle school. Through out middle school I sinned many times by dressing improperly and having boyfriends at such an age.

My parents always wanted me to live a normal christian Republican anti-homosexual lifestyle. I became an athiest left wing bisexual. Then in high school I experimented with alcohol, drugs, and other wrong doings such as stealing. I had made friends with a different crowd. I stole bicycles from little children, smoked, drank, smoked some more, and eventually I did ecstasy. I was known as the X girl.

Then one day I felt the ever so slight presence of god, so I decided to pray. As I was praying to god for forgiveness for my sins, I heard a voice in my head that told me to kill myself. I had never heard such a vivid voice before. It was like someone was talking to me but they didn't exist. I asked my doctor what was wrong with me and I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia a week later.

Later that week I planned on killing myself in my bedroom. I could easily jump out my skylight window onto the pavement of my driveway but I probably wouldn't die since it was only about a 20 foot drop from my roof to the ground. I was very depressed and so I decided to hang myself. I wasn't good at tying knots so there was no use. Not to mention all my rope was tangled up and I didn't want to untangle it.

It seemed like there was no way out. So I decided to give myself alcohol poisoning. I drank 6 bottles of Ever Clear and I eventually passed out. I was put in a coma for 2 weeks and I eventually woke up. I sit here typing this as I plan to stab myself in the heart with my dad's switch blade he bought a long time ago. He probably won't appreciate me using it to kill myself.